"I'm not like other boys."

This is who I really am and I'm not ashamed of it.

Dear Reader,

A couple of days ago, I read a post from the prolific writer and my friend, Janu on her publication, frankly, my dear. That terrific post was, “i’m not like the other girls”. Go, read and support it, and do come back to read mine. After reading it, I felt something that I have never felt before. I felt the urge to share everything about me.

We all have heard this line, “I’m not like other girls.” Be it in movies or books. This trope has been really overused in the young-adult books highlighting girls who are quite different and disconnected from the world they live in. Having read Janu’s post, she has used this title to state her opinion on the stereotypes for a girl. And, I would like to address a similar issue for the boys like me.

Have you ever wondered, why the trope, “I’m not like other boys.” haven’t been used? And, whenever it is used, it is often linked to a queer story. Why should a boy be a member of the queer community in order to say this?

Before telling everything about me, let me just say, I have immense respect for the queer community. I am not writing this post to hurt them or make them feel attacked, by any means.

I have always been and felt different from all the boys I have met. Be it my friends, cousins or anyone. I see the world in a different way, I talk in a different way, I think in a different way and despite all these things, I am not queer. Yes, that’s what other people feel when they see me or interact with me. They can’t digest the fact, that I am different, so they end up coming with the one and only reason that I despise, not because I hate the community, but only because they arrived on a decision without any second thought.

You see, ever since I was a child, I have had an effeminate personality and have always been closer to my sisters. I don’t know why, but that’s how I’ve been, even in the present. And, I also have more female friends than males because, I just feel more of a bond with them. That’s the first problem people see in me. I don’t interact with boys a lot. The some, who I interact with are great friends of mine, and they never judge me.

Whenever I tell someone, that my favourite colour is pink, they start thinking about me in a different way. I like other colours too like, black, red or purple. Why? Why have we associated gender to colours. Why can’t boys like or wear pink? If they do, they are not the “real boys”. So, what is the definition of a “real boy” then?

Let me tell you. A “real boy”, despises pink, walks “manly” and talks in a way that makes him feel moody and serious, think of girls like they are objects, curse a lot and lastly, never waste a moment to start fighting and displaying their strength in front of all.

So, I’m not a “real boy” if I’m not doing all this. That’s what I make people feel when they look at me. I can’t do anything about the mindsets of these people. If they want to think like that, then so be it.

Just a few days ago, a “real boy” came and said to me, “Bro, why do you always keep your arms and legs so close to you? Spread them out a little, like a man.” First of all, I hate the word bro. And, excuse me sir, who said, that you have to take a lot of space like a spread out mattress, in order to feel like a man? Why can’t I sit and cross my legs, when I feel comfortable doing that? Why should I keep my arms away from my body, when I am perfectly fine while not doing so? Who are you, to lecture me about my posture and way of sitting? I know, you’re a “real boy” who can’t stand a boy, unlike you.

I am someone, who has a voice which does not have a lot of bass like the other boys. Does that make me less of a “boy”? They often say to me, “You have such a thin voice, make it sound deep”, or “Why do you talk so softly?, Talk like a man.” To all these people, I would like to say, “Yes, I have a thin voice, which might sound feminine most of the times, but am I to be blamed for it, or be put in a box? No.”

When I was a child, I would enjoy Barbie movies with my sister. I really loved the stories and the strong female characters in each of them. I adore them now as well, and I am not ashamed to write about it. I like reading fairy tales and books about romance, and I won’t change that ever to make others feel that I am a “real boy”.

I love listening to female singers. Be it Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, Lana Del Rey, Beyoncé, Sabrina Carpenter, Florence Welch and many more. Chappell Roan as well. I don’t like rappers or metal bands but I do like male singers, like Harry Styles and Ed Sheeran. So, does that make me less of a boy, If I hate male rappers who objectify women in every second line? No. I just don’t like listening to them because I hate the way rap sounds and also, I hate the lyrics. All the rappers are not like this, but so many are.

Whenever I tell people, that I like listening to the above mentioned artists, they automatically assume that I’m queer. And, I also know the reason. A lot of the male fans of these artists belong to the LGBTQIA+ community. Why? Because they care about the art and the intent behind it unlike the “real boys” who only care about the way rap makes them feel about them and the women. I love listening to my favourite singers, because I love their lyrics and I appreciate the song writing. And, the music is so much better than the rap songs.

I love watching rom-coms, emotional and slow-paced movies. I hate watching movies that have an action sequence in every second scene. The people who get to know this, start attacking me with their crazy assumptions. But, I would never stop watching them.

I hate cursing, when done for no reason. But, if you are a “real boy”, you should curse after every line you say. They encourage me to curse, pretty often, and when I do not succumb to their wish, they tease me.

I never feel like fighting or showing, how strong I am. Like, showing biceps, triceps, whatever these “real boys” do. That’s because, I never felt like doing so. So, is something wrong with me? Well, that’s what others make me feel like.

Not everyone, but some boys have said to me, “Why are you such a feminist? Why do you always support girls or take their side? Why do you see them with a lot of respect?” Again, a “real boy” looks at a girl as an object to procure, they respect them, only when they are talking to them. I have listened to what these “real boy gangs” talk about. They talk about their girls in such a shallow way that it feels wrong to even think about it.

Lastly, and the most important of all. Why have I never made a girlfriend? Because, I am a person, who is at a point of his life, where achieving his dreams are more important than finding the “true love” or a “soul mate” in the uni, who will probably leave him in a few days, or weeks. For me, being focused at my studies is my ultimate goal. That doesn’t mean that I’m a “nerd” but I just don’t feel like getting myself in relationships that might hinder my path to achieve success.

After writing all this, let me re-emphasise. I, am not gay. Anyone who thinks like this, can continue to do so. I won’t listen to you or, feel attacked by your assumptions because I don’t care, what you think about me at all. I will keep on loving the things I love, walking and talking the way I prefer and respecting and seeing all the women in my life with the eyes of a true feminist.

Once again, No hate to the LGBTQIA+ community from my side. Hope you liked and understood my feelings and personality.

A huge thank you to Janu (Janani), and her post that mustered up all the courage within me to write this. To anyone or any boy, who feels understood by this post, my heart goes out to you. I know how it feels to be ridiculed by those who just don’t understand, that everyone doesn’t have to fit in a box.

I feel so light, after writing everything, my fingertips were itching to type, since a few days.

Farewell.