Story: Can You Believe Clara?

A story I wrote while killing time but also feeling really sleepy at the airport.

It was already half past 12. Ryan was sitting inside the food court. He just had a cup of americano and a focaccia bun filled with round pieces of tomato and mozzarella dressed up in pesto sauce. He was feeling jet lagged but did not have the option to sleep. Why would he? He was scared of the fact that someone could steal his belongings while he would be dreaming about snakes. Yes, he would always see snakes in his dreams. Why, you ask. Good Question, but there’s no answer. Even he couldn’t find a reason.

So, he was trying hard to remain awake. He was waiting at the lounge inside the Denver International airport to board another flight at around 6 am. Such a long waiting time, but he had no options. He had to wait and try not to sleep. There’s something about spending nights at the airports that’s really weird. He was thinking about ways to keep his mind awake. He drank a cup of americano to remain awake, but he was so used to coffee, that it would obviously be of no help.

Anyway, he was looking around, watching other people eating and scrolling on their phones with blank expressions, just like Ryan. Obviously! Have you ever seen anyone beaming with excitement and happiness while waiting at an airport? Ryan had a bad habit of observing everyone and analysing their movements and actions like a CCTV camera. You might say, he is very nosy, but to him, this was his pastime. So, his eyes started searching for an interesting creature doing something that would be capable of engaging him and his bored mind for sometime. Fortunately, he found one.

A woman, looking like she was in her 30s was sitting a few tables away from Ryan. She was just sitting with her head looking down, but he was surprised to see her empty hands under the table. He started thinking, “What is this lady looking at with her head down? Is she sleeping? No, I think her eyes are open. Is she meditating? Huh! No chance. Whatever!” There was one thing he found weird about her. He could make out from a distance, that her entire face was covered by scars that were healed but still left her face with many marks. He felt bad for her but still, started looking somewhere else, because he found that lady boring, cause she was doing nothing but looking down, so he started searching for a new pastime.

No, no-one was that interesting to him. At last, his eyes started watching that lady again. Almost half an hour had passed, but she was still sitting in the same position. Ryan started getting worried, and thought, “What if this woman got a stroke, and is unconscious now? What if she is sleeping with eyes open? Can anyone even sleep with their eyes open? What if she’s actually meditating or doing some kind of weird exercise? What if… she’s possessed? No no, never. I overthink too much. I think my mind is starting to shut down a little. I should watch a movie or something.”

Ryan stopped thinking about that lady and took his iPad out of his backpack to watch a movie. You see, he was a typical cinephile. He would watch movies to experience art and the brilliance of the makers who would work behind the camera. He would never judge a movie by its reviews or collections. For him, they were the best way to tell stories. You can pack so much imagery, many themes, ideas and artistry in just a few minutes. For him, Mubi was the perfect destination for such films. He started searching for something that would be able to engage him for an hour or two at least, and also help him to feel less sleepy.

While scrolling through their diverse collection of curated films from all around the world, he found something of his interest. ‘Through The Loathing Glass’, a 1963 American movie about “a young girl, obsessed with a Hollywood actress, who finds herself in abominable circumstances when she tries emulating her”, starring Clara Wilson, and Aretha Mills as Ella, the protagonist. Ryan read the premise and saw two actresses playing one role. He thought, “Why are there two actresses playing the role of one girl? Wouldn’t that make the movie confusing and a bit weird?” He didn’t know anything about the movie or what had happened with the actors. He wanted to find out more about the movie and those actresses but was really tired to do so. He played the movie and decided to watch it first and then do some research about it.

The movie started with a young Clara Wilson, acting as Ella. In the movie, she was obsessed with a fictional actress called Lily Clarks. Ella would dress up as Lily everyday, speak like her, walk like her, and even started living a life like hers. She would only listen to someone if they would call her by the name of Lily and not Ella. Ryan was really invested in the movie. He was loving the way Clara was acting. She was acting so well, that it wasn’t feeling like acting at all. Clara lived that character and that speaks a lot about her talent and hard work.

The movie was going on and on, with each scene, showing the gradual increase of Ella’s obsession with Lily Clarks. In one scene, she started cutting her hair to bring them at the length of Lily’s hair. She started having dreams about her being Lily, and acting in movies. The plot became really serious, when Ella, started believing that she’s the real Lily and the one whom she was impersonating is the fake one. This led her to find Lily, the actress, and kill her in order to remain as the one and only Lily Clarks in existence. The movie continued with Ella, thinking of ways of getting close to Lily and trying different ideas to kill her.

Finally, she killed the real Lily, and was sent to prison with a weekly psychiatric checkup at a mental hospital. Ella, had no realisation about what she had done. She was still in her ‘I’m the real Lily Clarks’ delusion and would fight with anyone who would say the opposite. Ryan, was so amazed by Clara’s acting that he just forgot that he was feeling sleepy just a few hours ago. He was thinking about checking out other movies starring her, after completing the film. Then, the film reached its final scene, which could be called a climax, but unfortunately, Clara was not in that scene. A different actress started playing the role. Ryan assumed her to be Aretha Mills and she was. in reality. She also played the role of Ella brilliantly but there was something about Clara’s performance that was miles ahead of Aretha’s portrayal of Ella.

In that final scene, Ella became a maniac, and started scratching her face with her long pointed nails, to the point when her whole face was scarred with blood oozing out from some of the deep scars. The reason was Ella’s mental breakdown. She couldn’t take the constant pressure from the psychiatrists, who would try to convince her that she was not Lily but Ella. They used to feed this thought everyday in her brain, and she would refuse that and would start beating them, every single time. Ryan saw Aretha’s scarred face and started imagining Clara’s face in place of hers.

He thought, “Clara would have looked so… wait a minute. This face! I think I’ve seen it somewhere. Where?” He was trying to remember but couldn’t come up with a vivid memory. He paused the movie and started thinking more seriously. “Wait! that lady…that lady I saw when I was looking around. I think she was exactly looking like Clara Wilson with her scarred face. How is that possible? Clara didn't even act in this scene. And even if she is alive now, she would have become so old. How is it possible?” Ryan started looking around, trying to get a glimpse of that lady again, but she was no where to be found.

Ryan felt defeated and a little puzzled but decided to continue watching the last scene of the film. The moment he pressed play, he was shocked to see Ella’s scarred face. It was no longer Aretha, who was playing the character, it was Clara herself. Ryan did a few seconds back out of sheer disbelief, but he could only see Clara’s scarred face. “How? Am I tripping? I’m not feeling sleepy. What is this movie? How can Ella’s face be changed out of nowhere. I just saw the same scene with Aretha’s face.”

He started feeling creeped out by that movie, but still decided to finish watching it. In the end, Ella dies after scratching her face with her nails and banging her head on the mirror multiple times. She closed her cell from inside so no-one could enter. Finally, the movie ends with Ella’s gravestone in the frame, with just her date of birth written. Ryan found it really weird cause usually, people engrave both the dates of dying and birthing of the deceased, but he couldn’t see that on Ella’s stone. He didn’t think much about it cause he assumed it must be a mistake while building the set. The team must have forgotten to add that.

After seeing the film credits rolling, Ryan closed the Mubi app, went to Letterboxd and wrote a review for the movie after giving it five stars. He loved the movie, regardless of the fact that it got really weird in the end. He went over to google.com to search more about the movie and the actresses. After falling down a rabbit hole about the film, he got to know that Clara Wilson had committed suicide in her makeup room before filming her final scene for the film, and Aretha Mills replaced her, who also died a couple of years later in a similar way.

The film was a box office success of that year and it got many accolades at the Oscars, including the award for ‘Best makeup and hairstyling’. Clara Wilson, was meant to receive the award for best actress but because she died, the award was given to someone else, but the Academy and the audience remembered Clara, by dedicating a few minutes of silence to her and her memorable career, during the award ceremony. Ryan got a bit emotional after reading about the tragic deaths of such brilliant actresses. He could imagine Clara being a great actress and achieving lots of accolades till she would’ve become old, but unfortunately, the universe had different plans for her.

It was already close to 3 am when Ryan put his iPad back into his backpack and started going through some messages on his phone. After being on his phone for an hour, he decided to get another cup of Americano just to make his mind a bit more awake and less tired and sleepy. He went to the Costa Coffee outlet and ordered another cup. While he was waiting for his order, he started looking around again. This time, he was surprised to see that same lady with the scarred face sitting just a few metres away from where he was standing. She was staring at Ryan, who was waiting for his coffee order.

Ryan felt a bit uneasy due to her continuous stare. He immediately turned his head towards the barista who was busy preparing his coffee. After a few minutes, Ryan returned to his table and started listening to some music on his iPod while waiting for the boarding to start for his flight. He closed his eyes for a few moments, while he was sipping his americano, and listening to some Fleetwood Mac. The moment he opened his eyes, he was shocked to see that same lady, sitting just in front of him at the same table. Ryan flashed a fake smile. He was terrified at her sight from within.

The lady spoke, “Did you like me?” “Like me? What is she saying?”, he thought. “Sorry ma’am, I couldn’t get your question. What do you mean by ‘like me’?” “You just watched me, in that film, and don’t even remember me being in it. How can you?” Ryan was shocked by what she said. “Cl-Clara? Are you… Clara… Wilson?” “Yes! Yes I am.”, that lady said. “I felt that you would like me to be in that final scene so I did that.” “What? How? We don’t even know each other. And I saw you for the first time here at the airport. How did you know that I would be watching your film? And why were you sitting like that?” “So many questions, Ryan! Relax! See, I was sitting like that cause I wanted to bring your attention towards me. It was all planned. I made you watch that movie and also made you look at me. Why, you ask. Well… I want something from you.”

“From me? What? What can I even do for you? I’m just a simple man trying to live my awful life.”, said Ryan. “Oh, Ryan! don’t say that. I want you to write a story, about me being the face of Ella in the final scene of the movie. I want everyone to know that I, Clara Wilson, did complete the movie by acting in the final scene as well.” “How is this possible Clara? Aretha Mills has acted in that scene in reality. I can’t make everyone start thinking differently. And, please tell me, why did you kill yourself before shooting that scene?”

Clara said, “I don’t know Ryan. My makeup with fake scars was done by my makeup artists but after sometime, they started turning into real scars, and that put me in a lot of pain. So much so, that I had no option but to kill myself.” “That’s so weird. Does anyone know about this?” “No, just you. Okay, I know you can’t change the movie scene but what you can do, is write about my real reason of death. I know people won’t believe you, but to some I would not be a loser who killed herself for no reason at all.” “Clara, I… I don’t know what can I do, but I am pretty sure people won’t believe me when I say that your ghost met me in real life, and told me about your death.” “Just tell, what I experienced that day. No need to say that I am the one who told you about it.”

A phone call made his vision blurry. He was dreaming all this time. He woke up to see his half filled cup of now cold americano and his earphones plugged in his ears. There was no one sitting in front of him. It was his elder cousin, Adrian calling. “Hello!, said Ryan in a sleepy voice. “Ryan! I just wanted to tell you that your flight has been delayed by 1 hour. You will have to wait for some more time at the airport.” “No problem Adrian, I’ll manage.”, assured Ryan. Adrian was concerned for his cousin, so he was constantly keeping a check on the flight’s status. He knew Ryan and his casual nature of not checking the status or scheduling of his flights. “Thanks Adrian, I’ll be reaching New York soon.” Adrian ended the call by saying bye along with a sweet, ‘happy journey’ before cutting the call.

Ryan was still thinking about his weird dream. This was one of those rare dreams in which there were no snakes. But it was still really eerie and disturbing. He was thinking, “Was that lady I saw before watching the movie real or was I hallucinating? Did the movie scene really change for me in the end? Was Clara’s ghost really talking to me in my dream? Nothing makes sense but I don’t know why, I have this strong feeling of writing about Clara’s death somewhere. I know a lot of people will think that it’s a conspiracy theory, but maybe, just maybe, someone will believe it and that would make Clara feel heard and understood.” Somehow, he felt really connected to Clara. Even though, he saw her in that movie as a different character, he could feel Clara, and her presence, and personality throughout the movie. Maybe, Clara and Ryan were connected in some unexplainable way. Who knows?

Ryan wrote an email to a popular YouTuber who would make conspiracy theory videos on YouTube. His name was Shane Dawson. After a few weeks, Shane made a video about different movie conspiracy theories and included Ryan’s story in it as well. That video garnered millions of views. Some believed, and some rejected the theory but at last, Ryan was able to do what Clara wanted him to do, and that was letting people know that she did not commit suicide. Now, it was up to people to decide. That is why conspiracy theories always remain as conspiracy theories. No-one can prove them as right or wrong, because no-one can find its source. Who knows, maybe all the conspiracy theories are just truths told by those who were really a part of that particular situation or happening. We may never know and that’s what makes conspiracy theories so interesting, thrilling, and mysterious. Isn’t it?

The End.

© 2025 Ritwik Upadhyay